A Challenge – The Naughty List

I am a part of a writing group. We have recently published an anthology of Fairy Tale retellings. One of the members of the group has issued a challenge.  I am taking it up.

Let’s see . . . for Corinne’s challenge:

From the world of Distilled home of Nikolay Marat von Krug, Nessa, and Seth:

#1 Which character would get wasted at a holiday party and end up humping the Christmas tree?

Seth, gang member and future leader, has never turned down a good drink and better is the possibility gaining favor with the gang.

It would be a bright coastal. The gang gathers on the rooftop of Red House. Three beer barrels stack up taller than Seth standing on a chair. Ray, the gang leader, fills his mug and pours one for Seth.

“Drink up. Enjoy yourself.” Ray grabs the house madame and kisses her, bending her back over his arm.

“That little boy can’t hold his drink,” Peter, Ray’s enforcer, jeers.

“Can too.” Seth drinks, pours another and drinks it too. Stumbling drunk across the roof top, he bumps into the christmas tree. “Muck-suckin’ Ray. Tossin’ his whore. He’s not one of us.” Seth grabs the tree and humps it. “Look at me, I’m Ray.”

#2 Which character deserves to get the crap beaten out of ‘em by the Krampus?

Seth again or Ray. In Distilled, Ness, Seth’s sister, helps Nik escape the gang. The gang captures Nessa during the escape and tortures her in attempt to draw out Nik. Seth walks away when he knew the gang was torturing his sister. He doesn’t try to save her. For that, he deserves the wrath of Krampus. Ray deserves it for ordering the torture.

#3 Which character is the Grinch this year?

Nik. People are icky. They are diseased and loud and need to stay away. Parties are loud and filled with people. Christmas is a holliday where they expect things. They want hugs and to touch. They expect gifts, but they never give anything in return. No, Nik doesn’t need them, so they can celebrate without him.

#4 Which character would try to get a little too friendly while sitting on Santa’s lap?

Nessa. She’d be singing Santa Baby and asking for a mansion. If Santa wanted a lap dance in exchange, well, that is easy enough.

#5 Who would your antagonist most like to tongue beneath the mistletoe?

Which antagonist? Vik would definitely hide in a back room with Rose, the daughter of his closest neighbor. Seth could care less about tonguing anyone. Ray would be cuddling up with Simone, mistress of the Red Room.

#6 Which character would accidentally tip the menorah and light the house on fire?

Nik. It would start with the first knock on his door, which would trigger his paranoia. No one should be knocking on his door. As his hand starts to shake, the magic that pools beneath his feet grows larger. As the boarding house grows louder with cheers and laughter, the magic turns black, his legs quake and he falls back against his trunk, knocking the candles onto the floor.

#7 Which character is most likely to bring magic brownies to a holiday party?

Nik. Alchemy is his thing, experimentation is his joy. Some sugar, some chocolate, some of his newest concoction. Maybe it will be sleepy-time brownies mixed with his sleeping potion anchor or hallucinogen laced brownies.

#8 Which character is most likely to ring in the new year naked? And why the hell are they naked in the first place?

Nessa. Because it is natural. Because she is beautiful. Because men are stupid for a naked woman. Because starting the new year with all five outfits clean feels like a fresh start. Because her mom is not there enough to know if she is naked or not. Because she can be.

#9 Which character is absolutely kidding themselves by insisting they belong on the nice list?

Vik. He’s not bad, not really. Sure, he is financing a hit on his little brother, but that’s their father’s fault. If daddy dearest had just let the estate pass naturally to the oldest son, there would be no reason to hunt the brat down. Generally, he’s a good man. He attends his estate and his job, protects his land and people, sends funds and servants to help the war effort. He is a pillar of the community. Of course, he’s on the nice list.

#10 Which characters would readers be most shocked to find on the naughty list?

No one. They all deserve to be on the naughty list. It’d be more shocking to find them on the nice list.

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